Sunday, January 07, 2007

self-professed!!!!

words, memories
jerk out of
mind's stubbled
thoughts
wind carressing my hair
brown fields glowing
against a golden dawn
dry stalks streaked
with purple
winter blossoms
promise
little romance
in this weary
remains of life

i removed your
reluctant glasses
as you stripped off
my armour
my shame...

* * *

dust to dust,
secrets to secrets
labyrinth snakes
down the guilt-filigreed
chambers of my love!!!
god’s own country!!!!

in this country
men own their women
sometimes
paw them, needle them
jeer at them
some of them
make them wash their
briefs, phlegm-laden hankies
women cook
for them kindling
the smoldering fire
of oppression
wait for them
snuffling out their joys
laughter
themselves
in the chula of
domesticity
i have seen my mother
aunts, neighbors
watch tear-jerkers
on screen
cry endlessly
to believe that woman is
born in a cauldron of tears…
i heard a song
which had its refrain
likening woman
to a tear drop
so insignificant
yet wrought with
mucus and menstrual blood

LOL

my women in the cities
towns protest mildly
some flow along
hoodwinked
by their desire to fit in
my countrymen know
to stifle a few voices
of dissent

women sing requiems
to their selves at night
some don’t even finger fuck
themselves to
sleep in a world
devoid of orgasmic
convulsions!

i grew up in this land
shit piled up on my age
till twenty;
i was a tiny speck
of shit
in public fingers
when strangers
scrubbed clean my tenderness
with a violence that scarred
i was just a c...
two tender tits
filled with guilt.

I knew a girl once
a jostle in the bus
invited two palms
that kneaded, pummelled
her breasts, shaping them
to his likes
teaching her to belong
to her titty self
not to transgress
male territories…
a drunk jerked off
his cum on pinafore
the world looked on,
like voyeurs at
guilt streaming down,
her revolted self.

still they said
you are still better off, my wild girl
you weren’t raped,
some had it worse!!!!

her tears hissed: shame on you
my countrymen
what a shame!!!!



i am a refugee now
in a distant land
i don’t eat my food
i cannot smell the sea
or see palm fronds lapping against
the afternoon breeze
in the Himalayan footholds
i do not belong
but I have started loving
my body with an abandon
i tasted the joy of
my body being mine!!!

in the wilderness
my laughter is mine
tears are occasional
visitors who hurt me.
vagrant penniless wild
i refuse to be
moulded by your lust.

INSTEAD

I chant
with prayers wheels
that revolves clockwise-

adieu
god’s own country
adieu
my fellowmen, women
who live in the scum of mediocrity
smug complacency.

call me an escapist
i would rather say
at least a few like me have escaped!!!







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